The noose around my feet

Ok, now that stuff is actually happening in the world of triathlon, and I am doing a bunch of training and racing, I promise to update this most excellent blog more often. A quick recap for those watching at home. Raced a 5k, sneak attack style (or stealth as some would call it). Shooting for 17:30’ish. Ended up with an 18:26. Oops, kinda overshot it. Maybe next time. Then I started out my triathlon season with T-Gator #1. ENM swears that I won in her absence just to spite her. Looking out for my personal safety, I would completely disagree with her. Fast forward two weeks, and LA Triathlon was on the books. Jimmy B invited me to his camp, err, gi-normous house, so that I didn’t have to wake up uber-early to get to the race. I was mucho appreciative of the gesture, even though I failed his IQ test in figuring out the meaning behind the name of his camp. Race morning was pretty uneventful, except for the body marking incident and the run transition incident. Oh yeah, and the bike incident. Quite a few incidents, when I think about it. The body marking and run transition were one in the same, as a volunteer went ahead and reminded me that “Jesus was 33 when he died”, while I was teasing Will about his age. Uh, yeah lady, way to go. Mortality is almost a guaranteed to halt any conversation. This same lady came out of the woodwork, and tried to convince me as I’m leaving on the run that I was to in fact, ignore the large Orange RUN spray paint with arrows pointing in the direction I was headed. Visions of the heckler from Happy Gilmore popped in my head, as I kindly told her to lock it up, and continued following the large orange spray painted arrows. The race was fun, and I actually came out of the water with the leaders (my super-secret swim training is encoded in the title). As for the bike, I slipped a pedal, gashed my knee; f’d up my front derailleur, and drove the bus to the turnaround before getting destroyed. I pressed the gas on the run, and my legs said “Not today, junior.” All in all, a good time had by all. 3rd place was still a solid result, and I was glad to drink all the Monster energy drink I could get my hands on afterwards. Funny thing is that on the way home, ENM asked, “How does it feel to win and finish 3rd in your first two races of the season?” Well, honestly, it feels about the same as finishing two races in the top half, I guess. A lot of pain, followed by cookies and coke.
What I’m really excited about is the Ironman training block I’m in now. Knocking down some quality work in the past two weeks, and I’m looking at a killer schedule this week before I take some down time. Another cool note is that I found someone who actually enjoys motor pacing me. So that is working out quite nicely, although I think he’s just entertained by the folks coming the other way with looks of disbelief and shock on their face. Some dude almost put his truck in a ditch from staring too long the last time we went. Speaking of the moto, I am in the market for a scooter. So if you know of anyone who has a quality used one they aren’t using and wanting to get rid of, email me.
That’s it from mundane Ironman training world. And yes, of course, that Triathlon Championship belt resides in my living room now! VICTORY! Of course, Will informs me that the last race of the year is a duathlon. This belt could be switching hands more than a mortgage bank.

Thanks for reading....

DJ Dazzle

It’s been so long, I even thought this blog was dead. No excuses, except that I pen about 3 entries in my head per week. But they don’t get finished, and they definitely don’t make it to your high contrast computer screen. I even started one that I’m really excited about, called “Losing Yourself.” And no, it’s not where I re-enact the Eminem video from the song of same name. Anyway, the quick and dirty update is that I started training after the cold spell, like everyone else. It just took me a little longer, as my girls on the soccer team just refused to lose so I could start training. I even tried to drag them all the way up to Shreveport, and play in February weather in a gigantic stadium so they might lose. No dice. They just kept winning. The result? See the picture below. Someone asked which was cooler, winning a state championship, or finishing Ironman. Well, my teammates and I could never stay sober long enough to actually commit to working toward winning a state championship as a player, so I can’t answer the question. But the state championship from a coaching point of view is way more stressful. You are managing talent, health, emotions, schoolwork, injuries, egos, etc. Ironman is just primal. Fear, adrenaline, and moving forward. Plus, I never get interviewed for Ironman, where I have to be politically correct and nice; for fear that I might hurt someone’s feelings. Nope, Ironman is basic, and I’m a simple dude. Ironman is easier, but the soccer thing was worth all the struggle.

Back to the triathlon grind. Went and did a few early season races, and was actually surprised where my fitness is right now, as compared to this time last year. Although, to sum it up for you, I got chicked at the T-Gator Duathlon (but so did everyone else who’s name isn’t Deshotels), actually had my pedal come off in Rouge Roubaix, but got to hang out with Pat Fellows for 5+ hours. When you get the chance to visit with someone who swam continuously for 34 miles (yes, miles), you take it and become all ears. That summed up my Rouge Roubaix, and we got motorpaced a little while by an official’s motorcycle. Now I know why the Euro dudes are so fast. After that, I went to do a local 5k, and actually beat a few high school cross country dudes. I set my sights a bit high, but still had a good time. All the while, trying to nail it all down for one more shot at Coeur d’Alene. That’s all the training and racing so far in a nutshell. I’ve got some exciting things on the horizon, but I’ll keep them in my bag for later.

On a not-so-cool note, some of my training homies, and members of the Two Dragons are out of racing/training for a bit. So it looks like while the Two Dragons membership has dwindled from 3 to 1 (although our buddy Brad tried to initiate himself into Two Dragons by getting a huge tattoo of a dragon on his right arm. Either that, or he got it so he could get discounts at Chinese buffets), I’ll still be out and about in the racing scene. The prelim schedule of where I’m renting transition space is over on the right. Hopefully, JJ makes his way back in the racing groove in time for summer smack down, and KSP can be Yoda to all of us young Jedi’s trying to realize that pesky little dream of racing Ironman in October.

Speaking of smack down, Will J Boggs has decided to throw a pro-wrasslin’ flair to the Lafayette racing scene. He won the inaugural battle with B.Rider in the Opelousas du, and thus retains the beautiful piece of plastic you see below. I just warn you William J, the challenges to your belt will come fast and furious, and most importantly, these challenges will have swimming as a part of the fun. None of this run/bike/run silliness. Weren’t you almost famous at that discipline once? At one race, a long time ago? Oh yeah, that’s just what Lafayette triathlon needs, a little WWE flair.

In parting, I’ll quote Ferris Bueller on the state championship experience, and bringing home that big wooden trophy: “It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.”

Thanks for reading….

PS What is with the name of this entry, you ask? Well, I met a friend of ENM's named Nick. But EVERYONE called him by his nickname, "DJ Dazzle". How cool is that nickname? And no one knew why they called him that. Needless to say, for the rest of the night, I had nickname envy.

Big Bag 'O Pain, served with a side of Mud

All I can say is, ouch. I did my first cyclocross race this past weekend. I really didn't know what I was expecting, but definitely not that kind of brutality. All in all, it was 30 minutes of my life that took me back to the joys of club soccer, where I'd routinely get that blood taste in my mouth from running so hard, and wheezing in the lungs. Seriously, my buddy Nic told me to go all out from the gun, so I could pick my line instead of being behind people. Well, I went out really hard, and ended up 2nd after the first lap. And it was all downhill from there. Not literally, though. When people laugh at tri-geeks for their bike handling, I used to wonder why. Not anymore. I now know that I've got the bike handling ability of a hippopotamus jumping rope. I went as hard as 4 bike rides since Florida would let me, and figured I'd check my watch to see how deep into the race I was. 10 minutes! Oh boy, this is gonna be interesting. But apparently God has a sense of humor, as my front derailleur cable came undone, and I only had my small chainring in the front. Which was a blessing, as the last 10 minutes of the race saw me struggling with the 39-26 up the side of the velodrome.

All in all, I had fun, got muddy, saw my highest bike heartrate in 4 years, and I got to clean off in the sink of a public bathroom before I drove back home. Sounds like a successful outing to me. And yes, I'm already plotting my '08-'09 cyclocross season, complete with a possible trip to Nationals, and how long I need to rest after IM Florida. And the 'cross track at my house is done and rideable, so I'll be working on getting faster so I can not suck as bad at my next race.

One more thing before I go. A tip, if you will. Don't wear your Ironman Finisher t-shirt in public. I was scared for my life, as two guys at my gym wanted to talk to me about the shirt, and congratulate me on the accomplishment. One saying that he wasn't sure if he could handle doing an Ironman. Why is this a problem? The guy saying it was a Cage Fighter. As in, a professional UFC ass kicker. He beats people up on the weekends. Way more impressive than wearing a pointy helmet and spandex all day. So I gave him the shirt after he promised not to choke me out. I got away lucky. So, be careful out there...

Some pics to amuse you:

The calm before the storm. And yes, the large guy in purple kicked my butt. Who didn't?

So you're supposed to go this fast the whole time? I'm in trouble...

Yes, I know, too many Christmas cookies. I'm just taking after my hero, Jan Ullrich.

Pics from the trenches....

You think you can ride this? First test of da track, da Monster.

Need help washing your bike after the ride? Rick the pit boss can help you out....

The recovery food of champions. It's why the Belgians go so fast...

Next ride, Sunday Dec. 30th. Want in? Bring your bike, an apron, and waffle mix. Rookies make the waffles...

Waffles, Cross, and Swamp Mud

The very first annual Swamp 'cross festival took place today. It was waffles, riding, and plenty of swamp mud for all. A record crowd was on hand to see the new cyclocross track. Of course, if it was the first event, then it would be a record, no? Anyway, pics to come as I forgot my mini USB to upload pics. Just know that there was plenty of laughs, mud, falls, and waffles with Nutella, powdered sugar, whipped cream, and berry jam for everyone.

Stay tuned, as the second Waffles, Cross, and Swamp mud is slated for next Sunday (Dec. 30th). Rookies get to make the waffles...

Some Update Pics

First is my 17.8 lb UFC cage fighter. AKA Operation Mud, Cowbells, Gin & Trombones. Man, I love Belgium!

Second is me meeting the Grip. If you're involved in triathlon, and don't know who this is, return your USAT card right now. And FYI, he didn't wear one piece of M Dot attire any time I saw him.

Obsession

You would think that after an Ironman, you’d give yourself some time to relax and just absorb the events of the year, and try and recharge from all the energy spent pulling off the first two Ironman year I’ve done. No, I’m not that smart. The weekend after Florida found me in Austin. Now even if I was just in Austin to hang out, it would have been cool. The whole town has a cool hippie/fitness vibe. And they have the world’s largest Whole Foods. So I cruised around with the baddest bike racer I know, Shontelley-hoo, and we cruised the town. Anyway, I went to Austin to hear the Grip speak in a weekend long workshop. The Grip, as in Mark Allen. I won’t bore you with the details, as it was the best money I’ve spent on triathlon outside of race fees. Such a cool experience, and definitely not “I’m great, grandiose, and you can only hope to be a fraction as good as I was”speaking engagement that you would come to expect from a 6-time world champion. Quite the opposite, actually. Mark is very unassuming, and so approachable. Anyway, great times, and I’m still buzzing from the experience.

So what the hell do I do with “all this spare time” and get away from triathlon? Well, I took 2 weeks COMPLETELY off. I mean, I haven’t run outside of the “Run with Mark Allen” run at the workshop. As for biking, I’ve just been having fun on the singlespeed, and noodling around to and from work. But I really needed something to spark off the pre-season, without the boredom of all those familiar training routes that are mind numbingly burned into my brain. So I fell way off the wagon and found a new winter obsession. The picture is below. What the hell is that, you ask? Where are the aerobars? Well, it’s a cyclocross bike. As in a road bike that you ride on hardpack trails and gravel roads. No computer, no intervals, just mud, riding, and fun. I did my first ride on it Thanksgiving day. I can’t remember when I had more fun on a bike. I had mud in my teeth because I was smiling and laughing the ENTIRE ride. Super simple, and super cool. Anyway, its pretty fun getting muddy on a ride, and saying, “sweet” when the pavement ends on your ride, instead of saying “Oh shit!” like you do on that pretty carbon tri bike.

So why cyclocross? Is it necessary? Well, not really. But the bike is orange, it’s named “Gin and Trombones”, and most importantly, it’s a new sensation while still getting in some good cycling miles. And Dr. Joe said training is all about keeping that central nervous system on it’s toesJ

So like any good obsessive, compulsive, Type A dude, I had to research this cyclocross phenomenom. So, I’ve watched a million YouTube cyclcocross videos, planned my first race in Houston in January, and am even gonna build a cyclocross track in my front/back yards. It’s good cause it takes the ole’ mind off of triathlon, racing, eating like a Buddhist monk, and obsessing about training for next year. Instead, I’m laughing at the characters of this new, cool cycling bastard child. Guys like Barry Wicks, Ryan Treborn, and Jeremy Powers. And I can definitely get excited about any sport that encourages drinking for spectators, and for heckling the racers. Sounds fun to me. So cyclocross is my new obsession. That is, of course, until it warms up…